The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
