Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
