i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
