Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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