Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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