SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
