After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
