So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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