Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
