so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
