What did we do last night that was yellow?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
