Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
