What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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