So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
