don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Randomize
