Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize