Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
