We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Someone stole a lamp last night.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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