I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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