its not stalking. its research.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize