How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Randomize
