I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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