Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
