is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
