I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
