I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
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