If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
