I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
