i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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