I am spending my child support on dildos
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
