Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Randomize
