you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize