Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
