so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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