Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
