And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
