My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I am available for nakedness
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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