don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
FUCK WHALES
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
