dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
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