She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
