You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
