marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
