So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
