More tranny stories later!
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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