Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
