Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
