Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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