she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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