She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
