I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
