i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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