hotel room ftw
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
And the cops told us we were all naked.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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