I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Randomize
