i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Randomize
