Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
