because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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