I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
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