we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
