I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
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