Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Randomize
