U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
