when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
