i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
