Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Randomize