She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
