That's intense
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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