Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
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