The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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