god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Randomize
