Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Drunk is a universal language darling
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