brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
