im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
