so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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